Madison Awakening

I blink at him, panting and delirious. I take a deep breath, look out the window and realize I’m back at my Hamptons hideaway. I faintly hear Michael getting out of the driver’s seat and I realize I need to pull myself together.

“Oh, that was quick.” I respond trying to sound nonchalant but I know he knows better. I slide off his lap back into my seat, grazing his erection with my ass as I go and I can hear a sharp intake of air.

“You know, you don’t have to go. I don’t want you to leave.” He says softly, turning my face towards him, holding me with his gaze. I can hear the sincerity of his words, causing my core to tighten.

“I can’t. Not tonight.” I whisper, with my eyes turned downward, because I lacked the conviction of my own words. Every part of me is aching for this man, but if I give in now I am finished. No matter what my body demands, I have to maintain control. I pull away from him to allow for distance before I cave on my own resolve.

“You can’t or you won’t?” He says.

“I won’t. I told you I don’t want to be a statistic.” 

Jonathan closes his eyes and takes a deep sigh. “Okay, Madison. I’ll play it your way…for now.” He states through tight lips alerting me to his displeasure. 

The passion between us cools and I’m relieved. The longer I’m in this backseat, the sooner my control will break. Jonathan drags his hands through his now disheveled dark wavy hair and adjusts himself in his pants. I can’t help the giggle that escapes me as he tries to reestablish his perfect appearance. 

“Laugh now because sooner or later those ankles will be up by my ears. And the word ‘No’ won’t be in your vocabulary.” He replies with a self-assured tone looking me straight in the eye.

“We will see.” I retort and reach for the handle to open the door. Michael is there to help my exit.

“Thank you Michael.” I say with a smile.

“My pleasure Miss Davis.”

I step out and can feel Jonathan closely behind me. He is quiet as we walk up the gravel path to the front door, feeling his heat radiating on my back. I turn around and his proximity doesn’t alter. I look up at his beautiful face and still see the longing in his eyes.

“Thank you again for a wonderful night.” I say softly.

“The pleasure was all mine, Madison.” He says, scooping me into his arms.

 Pressing my face against his chest, I inhale the crispness of his shirt, the alluring aroma of his cologne and his natural scent causing a feeling of calmness to wash over me.  His hands slide down my waist to my hips and the rest there possessively. When I look up, I see something in his eyes that isn’t lustful like before, but is sad. Before I can silently question his change, he leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips, obliterating the thought. Unable to help myself, I pull him into me tighter to deepen our melding. By the time I pull away, we are both breathless again.

“Tomorrow. I’ll come get you tomorrow at noon. Dress comfortably.” He murmurs and kisses me sweetly on the forehead.

“Tomorrow.”  

He breaks our hold and steps back reluctantly as I scramble around my purse for the key. Locating it, I half twist to place it in the lock and take a deep breath as I turn the key. Turning back, I give Jonathan a shy smile.

“Goodnight Jonathan.”

“Goodnight.”

As he turned to walk away, I watch him mesmerized, still feeling the pull to be next to him. Even from the back he commanded my desire, as he walked confidently to the waiting SUV and climbs in. Just before Michael closes the door, he finds my eyes and I give him a slight wave and he replies with a boyish grin. The door closes and he is gone into the darkness.

I turn and finally head though the door, locking it behind me. I note the silence in the house and am thankful Ashely is out so I don’t have to go through a blow by blow at the moment. I’m lightheaded again and know it’s from my mind in overdrive and the wine. I fling off my heels for fear of falling and lean against the door. My knees are weak and I have an overwhelming quiver in my belly. 

I reach down, grab my heels to head upstairs. My steps are slow and labored as I try to reestablish my equilibrium. Finally reaching my room, I remove my date attire and lack the energy to set them anywhere but the middle of the floor. The central air wafts over my stimulated skin, but it does little to quiet yearning coursing through me.

I throw on white cotton tank and walk into the bathroom.  I brush my teeth and wash my face while replaying moments of my night with Jonathan, the dinner…the backseat…the throbbing between my legs. As I wipe my face with the towel, I secretly pray that I haven’t lost my mind. Why am I so frazzled by this guy?  What has me so far removed from reality that I’m allowing myself to feel and not think?  The word pathetic crosses my mind. I shake my head to dislodge the negative assertion of myself and walk out the bathroom.

I climb into bed, reach over to the nightstand to charge my phone as the voice takes over to reestablish reason and ask the questions I want to ignore. Pulling the covers tightly over myself, the questions start.

Is he just playing a game? What is wrong with him? Got to be something wrong with him. I take a breath to manage the anxiety, then reach into my little travel bag and take out my favorite vibrator. Turning it on I think about the possibilities with Mr. Cain as I enjoy my own touch.